IF ONLY...

Mom and I at Hong Kong's Cat Street Markets/Galleries, Summer 2005 (© Dr Karl Shuker)

How often it is said that Time is a great healer. Two years have now gone by since Mom's passing, but for me Time's ministrations have been to no avail – the pain of grief, of loss, of separation, of the grim, heart-wrenching knowledge that I shall never see my mother again in this world remains no less raw, searing, or crippling.

I wrote the following lines to mark today, the second anniversary of that darkest of all days, and I must keep faith in my cherished belief that through God's good grace one fine bright day not too long coming we shall indeed be together again, with all of our family, forever.
I love you, little Mom, always.

IF ONLY...

If only my tears could be the footsteps that lead me to where you now are.

If only my grief could light my way there, a lantern with which I could see.
If only my faith could bear me upwards to Heaven's bright portal afar.
If only my love could find you waiting, and bring you back homeward with me.

Two years ago today, Mom, you left my life, but you also took it with you.

You left my world, but you also took it with you.
Only your love and my memories remain, but they are the happiest of companions,
And in my sorrow I must draw upon their shared happiness
To gain some of my own.
If only I could find a way of doing so -
There must be a way, somehow, somewhere...
God bless you, little Mom - 
How I wish that you were here with me still.
I always will.